More from Forgotten

*Okay, so this takes place when Annie and Jessie are about eleven years old. I might change that age, though, so don't dwell too much on it.*

Annie

Jessie was going to sleep over, and I was getting my room ready before she arrived. I felt kind of nervous about tonight. I had decided I was going to tell Jessie my deepest, darkest secret that nobody else knew about. Jessie and I were best friends, though, so I knew I could trust her with this secret. I heard my doorbell ring and rolled my eyes; typical Jessie to ring the doorbell when she knew she could just walk right in, like I did at her house. I heard my mom open the door and send Jessie upstairs. There was a gentle tap on my door, and Jessie quietly entered.

“Geez, Jessie, you act as if you’re in a stranger’s house. You don’t have to ring the doorbell or knock before you come into my room,” I told her. She laughed and blushed at the same time.

“Sorry, Annie, I just don’t want to be rude,” she replied. I pulled her into a hug and laughed.

“You are way to polite for your own good,” I shook my head. I released her and she tried to breathe again as I grabbed her things and threw them in a corner of the room. We climbed onto my bed and sat Indian style opposite each other and immediately began a game of thumb war like usual. I won, like usual, and said, “Okay, question for the night: What is your deepest fear?” I couldn’t prevent the slight shakiness in my voice. Jessie didn’t notice, or at least pretended not to. That’s the way she was. She always made sure you didn’t feel awkward or embarrassed. The kid was way too nice.

Jessie looked down at her hands and thought for a while, then said, “I guess my deepest fear is being abandoned. You know, having somebody you really care about just leave you without a thought, like they don’t care. I don’t want to be alone, or…unloved.” I closed my eyes and hated myself for a few seconds. How could I have been so stupid to rip open that subject on her?

“Aw, Jess, I’m sorry I brought that up,” I said and tugged her into another hug. I stroked her hair as she took a few deep breaths. I thought of the day she first told me a few years earlier about how her mom left Jessie and her dad when Jessie was only four. Jessie had been playing in the backyard with her dad, when her mom opened the door lugging out her suitcase. Jessie had watched in confusion as her dad and mom argued for a while, and then finally how her mom just got in the car and drove away.

“It’s okay, I’m alright. Don’t worry about it,” Jessie said, pulling away and smiling. “What’s your deepest fear?”

Jessie

I waited for Annie to answer. She seemed somewhat torn. Annie worried me sometimes, the way she was just so unpredictable. I never knew where our conversations would lead.

“Well, you’re going to laugh at me…” she began hesitantly. That was strange for two reasons: first, Annie was never hesitant, and second, Annie knew I would never ever laugh at her. I raised my eyebrows. “Okay, so you won’t laugh, but you will think I’m weird,” she corrected herself.

“Don’t worry Annie, I already think you’re weird, so you haven’t got much to lose,” I said consolingly. She laughed loudly and shook her head.

“You are a crazy kid, Jessie,” she commented. I looked at her meaningfully, and she cleared her throat hurriedly. “Alright, I’ll stop procrastinating. My deepest fear is that when I die, I’ll be forgotten. That I’ll never get the chance to do something worthwhile and memorable, that you or my husband will remember to put flowers on my grave for a few months, and then I’ll just fade from everyone’s minds and that’ll be it. I’ll be dead, and the memory of me will be dead. It scares me, Jess, it really does. I don’t want to be forgotten, I don’t want a wave to just wash me out of everyone’s minds once I’m gone and am no longer able to personally remind them of my existence. “ Annie was now in tears and I stared at her in surprise. “And I don’t know what I can do to make sure that people are gonna remember me. What can I do to make sure they don’t forget?” Annie folded into my arms and I hugged her as she sobbed into my shoulders. I suddenly felt scared and vulnerable. Annie was always the brave one, she was always the one that hugged me when I got scared and cried. I was worried about what she had just told me, and my throat felt clogged with emotion.

I patted her back and said the only thing I could think of that could comfort her, “Don’t worry, Annie; I will never forget you, I can promise you that.”